fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
