so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
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Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
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At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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