i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
