OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize