I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
