i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
