He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
