i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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