Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
