im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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