I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have post one night stand depression
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