Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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