Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
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Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
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Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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