Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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