The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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