Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
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He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize