let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
