3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
