OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
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Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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