Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
