Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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