My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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