He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
