You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
now i know why i became what i already was.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
