Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
