Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
