This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
