Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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