I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
