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that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
