Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
