my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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