First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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