Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
