one might say we're banned from that church
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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