I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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