hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
