Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
