I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
