I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
