Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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