I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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