Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
