Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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