no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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