I'm really into asian looking animals
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
