i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize