Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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