i barfeds in our rink
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Let's get the cat blown out
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
