omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
