ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
