She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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