I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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