I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
