a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
