He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
