why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
