I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
